Dear Utah Winter,

I’m cold.

Sigh. I don’t even want to pretend anymore. I hate you. I’m not sure how we got here. I used to revel in the cold that allowed me to stay indoors and snuggle up next to the wood burning stove. I used to pray for snow so deep school would be canceled. I loved it when you sent just enough ice to cover the hill heading out of town causing the bus to get stuck and resulting in a very late arrival to school. And snow. Oh how I loved the snow. Building snow forts, making snowballs, ice skating on ponds, sledding, constructing snowmen, admiring icicles. All these things, plus snow ice cream, made winter a girl’s fondest season.

In addition, you came with Halloween, Thanksgiving, and Christmas! You also got to claim New Year’s and Valentine’s Day! You are the season with the most holidays dude. How in the world did all of these grand positives turn into one giant negative?

I know, it’s not you; it’s me. Remember when we were on a break for those three glorious years I spent in Arizona? That is when I learned that not all winters treat people the way that you do. Some winters are kind. They let you wear shorts all year. They rarely require any sort of coat. They even abstain from leaving anything on the ground you need to shovel. Some winters are kind and beautiful. Coming back to you at the end of our break was eye opening.

Now, all I see are slushy, unsafe roads and salt that needs to be washed off my car at regular intervals—but heaven forbid I do it on a day where the high temperature doesn’t get over freezing! If that happens, I just have to hope that the door freezes shut when I’m out of the car, instead of inside it. There is also the atrocious gas bill to keep my house just above chilly, who am I kidding, it’s right in the middle of chilly and downright freezing, because I’m not made of money. Our relationship can never be what it once was. I’ve seen the other side and know there is something better out there for me. So let’s break up. However, since I’m the one that left last time, I figure it’s only fair for you to leave this time. I need to stay in my geographic location, so maybe you could move south. I know that St. George only gets to see you occasionally. Go spend some more time with them and leave me alone.